Happy, with a Blue Tongue

I’m feeling particularly cheerful today.  Thank you, Lord!!

This weekend, I determined that I would make a conscious effort to start nurturing the extrovert in me as much as I have been protecting the HSP in me.  

I think I’ve kind of started overdoing it, in terms of HSP care.  Since I don’t go to work until mid-afternoon, I stick around the house, doing chores, relaxing, whatever.  The idea is to coat my nerves with so much downtime salve, that they become resilient for when it’s time to face the day and go to work.  

The nature of my job allows me to complete all of my tasks with very little need for human interaction.  The nature of myself causes me to find ways to infuse human interaction into my day.  Still, the lack of interaction within my general duties is actually quite exhausting to me. 

I’ve become kind of mousy, quiet and stiff lately, too.  My previous job had a slightly more open office layout, and the job required a great deal of interaction with clients, which was energizing in itself.  My coworkers and I also had quite a bit in common, so that lent itself to more lightheartedness. Now, I’m just old and boring, it feels like.  

It seems that “en vogue” thing recently is for some (not all) introverts to trumpet the exhaustion they suffer from us energy-sucking, extroverted Nosferatus. I’m just here to report:  there are ways to drain the lifeblood from extroverts, too.  

Extroverts lose energy from isolation and lack of contact.  

It’s not superficial.

It’s not selfish. 

It’s just so.  

Back to this weekend:  I semi-spontaneously went to visit a family, on whom I hope to have a positive spiritual influence as time goes on.  While I was there, their relatives came to take them to the park.  On the spur of the moment, I decided to tag along.  

It was so refreshing to go and enjoy some spontaneous time with friends! 

Saturday was a fairly major fail, in terms of extrovert care.  I actually had a mini-panic attack as I began to think that my destiny would be perpetual isolation, save for work and required events.  (Yes. I am slightly given to extreme shifts in thought.  Go figure.) 

Today, I was out most of the day.  Near the end of the day, several members of my church went to the park for a barbecue.  What a large amount of meat have I consumed today… 

I had a few moments of inner despair, but for the most part, it was an enjoyable, relaxing evening.  

The evening ended with an ice cream truck pulling through the park and me getting a blue Screwball ice cream.  Truth be told, I do miss the red ones, but this one was pretty good.  Really, I just wanted a Mickey Mouse bar, with the chocolate-covered chocolate ears, vanilla face, and chocolate mouth and eyes.  

But being able to proceed to the supermarket as a nearly 40-year old woman, with a blue tongue, kind of made it worth it.  

A Sliver of Hope: I’ll take it!

The other day, I was in an unfavorable situation that has made me cry a few times in the recent past.  I was with a group of people, who, because of some cultural differences, make me feel left out when I am with them.  What I mean to say is that the cultural differences make it appear as if they are trying to leave me out, but that’s not their actual sentiment.  However, I still have to be in this situation from time to time.

On this recent day, some of the cultural differences were in play, and I noticed their behaviors were pretty much the same as usual.  But something was different:

It didn’t make me cry.

My heart didn’t feel like it was being ripped out and stomped on, by an evil group of me-haters.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!! 

I don’t take this to mean that I am no longer an HSP.  But I do take it to mean that I can have victory in situations that seem hopeless.

It was several weeks ago that I learned how this particular cultural difference meant that this social distance would exist with this group.  It just took me a while for my mind, heart and nervous system to come to terms with this fact – and also not to be angry or resentful in light of it.

This little milestone gives me so much hope!

Have you had any similar milestones?