Happy, with a Blue Tongue

I’m feeling particularly cheerful today.  Thank you, Lord!!

This weekend, I determined that I would make a conscious effort to start nurturing the extrovert in me as much as I have been protecting the HSP in me.  

I think I’ve kind of started overdoing it, in terms of HSP care.  Since I don’t go to work until mid-afternoon, I stick around the house, doing chores, relaxing, whatever.  The idea is to coat my nerves with so much downtime salve, that they become resilient for when it’s time to face the day and go to work.  

The nature of my job allows me to complete all of my tasks with very little need for human interaction.  The nature of myself causes me to find ways to infuse human interaction into my day.  Still, the lack of interaction within my general duties is actually quite exhausting to me. 

I’ve become kind of mousy, quiet and stiff lately, too.  My previous job had a slightly more open office layout, and the job required a great deal of interaction with clients, which was energizing in itself.  My coworkers and I also had quite a bit in common, so that lent itself to more lightheartedness. Now, I’m just old and boring, it feels like.  

It seems that “en vogue” thing recently is for some (not all) introverts to trumpet the exhaustion they suffer from us energy-sucking, extroverted Nosferatus. I’m just here to report:  there are ways to drain the lifeblood from extroverts, too.  

Extroverts lose energy from isolation and lack of contact.  

It’s not superficial.

It’s not selfish. 

It’s just so.  

Back to this weekend:  I semi-spontaneously went to visit a family, on whom I hope to have a positive spiritual influence as time goes on.  While I was there, their relatives came to take them to the park.  On the spur of the moment, I decided to tag along.  

It was so refreshing to go and enjoy some spontaneous time with friends! 

Saturday was a fairly major fail, in terms of extrovert care.  I actually had a mini-panic attack as I began to think that my destiny would be perpetual isolation, save for work and required events.  (Yes. I am slightly given to extreme shifts in thought.  Go figure.) 

Today, I was out most of the day.  Near the end of the day, several members of my church went to the park for a barbecue.  What a large amount of meat have I consumed today… 

I had a few moments of inner despair, but for the most part, it was an enjoyable, relaxing evening.  

The evening ended with an ice cream truck pulling through the park and me getting a blue Screwball ice cream.  Truth be told, I do miss the red ones, but this one was pretty good.  Really, I just wanted a Mickey Mouse bar, with the chocolate-covered chocolate ears, vanilla face, and chocolate mouth and eyes.  

But being able to proceed to the supermarket as a nearly 40-year old woman, with a blue tongue, kind of made it worth it.  



Now that you’ve had your alphabet review for the day.  haha.

The further I go on this journey of understanding this part of me that is a Highly Sensitive Personality, the more paradox I discover.  As we know, only about 20% of the world’s population is HSP.  Then, about 30% of that 20% is extroverted.

Guess who falls into that teeny, tiny, imperceptible crack in the personality pavement?

I’ll give you a hint:

It’s me.

I fall into the crack.

The first time I took a Myers Briggs type test was in high school, over 20 years ago.  (Oops!  Just told on myself.)  Since that time, I have consistently scored as Extrovert iNtuitive Feeling, usually Perceiving, sometimes Judging.  Hence, ENFP/J.  Of course, I have never needed any old personality test to tell me that I thrive off of being around people, socializing, and talking.

For the most part, I spent my childhood years as an only child, so I always wanted to be out, playing with friends.  In college and afterward, I remember very few spans of time where I was alone, without plans of going somewhere or hanging out with friends.  That is, unless I was sleeping or studying.

Once, as a young Christian, I decided to offer to God a fast of my social life for several weeks.  I only participated in church activities and bible studies during that time.

To this day, I get much more done around the house when I have a guest or am talking on the phone.  To be sure, no one rushes over here to watch (not even help! just watch) me clean, but if they would, my house would be a lot cleaner.  🙂

In the past several years, I do feel that I’ve become more of an introvert.  I can’t imagine that I will even completely “convert, ” but I appreciate more and more the need for some alone time.  Some quiet time.